It Tasted Like Water!
by Hazeydream
Summary: The flagship team gets drunk off world and Weir is not happy! But then John and Liz have an interesting conversation..
1. Chapter 1

**Here is my standalone fic that had way too many mistakes so I've fixed them and decided to do a second chapter coz I got another review even after all these months. So first mistakes fixed then there will be another chapter up soon, promise!**

**It tasted like water!**

**Chapter 1**

Elizabeth Weir stomped through the forest with a team of four very nervous looking men following her. On any other day the doctor found walking in the woods relaxing listening to the cracks of broken wood and wind rustling the leaves on tall green trees. It was also a very sunny and clear day but this too went unnoticed by the Atlantis leader.

_Idiotic! The whole lot of them! _She ranted silently finally seeing the clearing up ahead of them. _Who in their right minds would do this? Oh, John Sheppard is so going to be scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush for two months!_

"Eh, ma'am?" Lt. Black stuttered aware of Weir's mood today. "I think we're coming to the village now."

"Yes Lt. I am aware of that!" She snapped then mentally scolded herself for addressing the young marine in such an unpleasant manner. Changing her tone she then added, "Thank you for your observation Lt. Black."

The other three marines rolled their eyes as Black beamed with pride having received high praise from the expedition leader and all four resumed their attempts at not looking at Weir's backside. Many men on Atlantis agreed that when she was pissed she looked pretty hot and that Sheppard was lucky that he was usually on the receiving end of her 'sexy murderous' glare.

Elizabeth sighed inwardly as she heard laughing coming from the marquee set up in the middle of the village. She really didn't want to have to do this but her flagship team had left her no choice.

"Hey! It's Dr Weir!" John Sheppard cried hitting Rodney McKay on the shoulder and pointing towards her.

Coming to a halt at the first of three steps leading up to the party Elizabeth plastered on a fake pleasant smile as Horlin, the village's coucellor, approached her.

"Dr Weir, it is an honour to meet you. We were not expecting you."

"I know and I'm sorry for intruding but I have a matter to discuss with Major Sheppard." She explained ignoring the sight of Ford trying to do a headstand behind him. "I do hope you realise my people rarely act like this Horlin."

"On the contrary Dr Weir they have been amusing to dine with." The alien stated and jerked forward as Sheppard whacked him on the back.

"Yup, this has been fun!" He added slurring his words a bit causing Weir to sigh again. "Come to join us Liz?"

"Actually I need to speak with you _John_." She told him through gritted teeth giving him a murderous glare.

_Ah! The sexy murderous glare! I'm in for a treat! _John thought happily and nodded.

"Lead the way!" He said.

"Watch the rest please." She ordered the other team and began leading Sheppard away from the party hearing a loud "Ooo yeah!" from Rodney as he tried to dance to the Indian drum music, much to the amusement of the second team.

Once a safe distance away Elizabeth stopped and faced Sheppard who hadn't notice she'd stopped and bumped into her. "Ooops!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing Major!" She asked not hiding the anger in her tone.

"What? We were just having a party. We did invite you but-" Sheppard slurred expressing an innocent look which only pissed off Weir even more.

"But you walked off! You left me talking to no one!" She shouted attracting a few stares from the party.

"Huh?"

FLASHBACK

"Is that the address?"

"Of course it's the address Majorl, I…am the resident genius…I should know!"

"Then why have you put in 8 symbols? What galaxy are we going to now?"

"Oh! Well I'm seeing _two_ DHDs so that doesn't help."

John leaned on the DHD as the scientist typed in another sequence of symbols and made a "Whooosh!" sound mimicking the actual flood of water that sprung out from the gate.

Grabbing Rodney's sleeve he pulled the drunk genius to the MALP and both crouched in front of the camera.

"Hellooooooo Atlantis!" John greeted using his hands to steady himself on the ground.

"Major Sheppard? Is everything okay?" Came Weir's crackled response.

"We're just fine! Better than fine! We're happy, great, buzzing, wonderful, amazing-" Rodney reeled off while Sheppard nodded in agreement.

"Okay, I get the point Rodney!" She said obviously not impressed by the speil of words. "You guys don't look so good…are you…oh my god are you drunk?"

"Oh I wouldn't say drunk Elizabeth, maybe a little tipsy!" John said before falling onto his backside.

"I hope this is you dialling in to say you're coming back then?" Weir asked sounding dangerously calm and John could just imagine her expression.

"Nope! You've been invited to the party too Liz!" He announced waving around his hands in some random gesture.

Watching the drunk men on the screen Elizabeth could feel her cheeks burning with anger and tried to ignore the number of personnel gradually stopping to listen.

"You were supposed to be dealing with this negotiation Major which you said was finalised several hours ago." She stated slowly losing her patience. "Now, I am ordering you to return to Atlantis. Make your apologies, tell them we will visit tomorrow and come back!"

It was obvious the order had fallen on deaf ears as Sheppard was playing with his radio and Rodney appeared to be fiddling with the MALP itself.

Taking a deep breath Weir repeated, "Major Sheppard return to Atlantis!"

Suddenly scowling John peered into the camera and whined, "Oh come on doc! Just a few drinks! They have this amazing stuff that tastes like, well, nothing. As if it was water!"

At this his companion began nodding vigourously muttering, "Yep, yep. Good stuff."

"And now Horlin would like you to join us." Sheppard told her standing up but then promptly falling back down again.

As both men tried to stand Elizabeth shook her head clenched her fists vaguely aware of how quiet the control room was. Everyone tried their best to keep a straight face noticing how furious Weir now looked.

"Major!" She hissed into the radio but he didn't answer.

"Bet I can beat you back to the party Rodney!" Sheppard shouted as he began jogging into the forest forgetting the MALP and the voice crackling away through the radio.

"Yeah right!" McKay cried dropping the piece of metal he extracted from the mobile device and raced after him.

Elizabeth gaped at the screen when both disappeared. Turning to Bates he was surprised to see the flash of fury in her eyes as she ordered, "Sgt. I want a four man team ready to go through the gate in 15 minutes."

"Ma'am?" He asked cautiously.

"I'm going there myself." She stated giving no room for argument and marched into her office.

END FLASHBACK

Elizabeth glared at John as he slowly recalled the incident.

"Oh, yeah. Whoops! Sorry." He said looking sheepish but then gave her a charming smile. "But you gotta admit it was funny!"

If looks could kill Sheppard would be dead.

"Funny!" She asked incredously. "Does it look like I'm laughing!"

John shook his head stumbling as he did so and smiled gratefully when Elizabeth grabbed his arm to steady him. "See, knew you cared about me."

If it had not been for their new allies' presence as well as the other team she would have slapped the smug look off his face.

"We are leaving now Major!" She snapped walking past him back to the party.

As he followed sulking Elizabeth couldn't help but stare at the now half naked Ford as he swung his t-shirt over his head causing all the woman to squweel with excitement. Rolling her eyes she stomped up the steps and stood in front of the three remaining team members. Even Teyla was flirting with a male almost twice her age and was currently stroking his arm suggestively.

"Rodney, Ford and Teyla – get your stuff we are leaving." She commanded politely still using a stern voice.

"But Eliz-"

"No buts Rodney! Now!" She said slightly louder and turned to Horlin.

"I'm sorry but I really need them back in Atlantis. I hope you understand Horlin." She explained apologetically and he nodded in response.

"I understand Dr Weir. Will you be returning soon?"

"Yes, of course. Since we are now allies." She assured him.

"Before you go here is a present." Horlin handed her a bottle with clear liquid in it. "Your people seem to enjoy our Lanshda, so please, take some." Horlin offered kindness plastered on his face causing Elizabeth to smile.

"Thank you. That's very generous of you." She said giving him a genuine smile of thanks.

He bowed his head and watched as their new friends walked, or stumbled, into the forest.

Yet again Elizabeth led the group making sure that the drunk 'teenager' were in the middle of the crowd and not lagging at the end. She was very much aware of the fast pace she was walking at and that it was only Sheppard who was matching her.

"Can we slow down at bit? Please?" Rodney panted tripping over a branch in the process landing face first into the dirt crying "Ooomph!"

"No wonder I won the race!" John gloated over his shoulder merrily but shut up when Weir frowned at him.

Lt. Black offered the scientist a hand and pulled him into a standing position placing his hands on his shoulders to steady Rodney. After a few deep breaths he was ready to move again.

Once they reached the gate Weir punched in the eight symbols while ordering Lt. Smith to retrieve the MALP. Once the pool emerged she punched in her personal code and marched through the event horizon ignoring John's attempts to talk to her.

Stepping though the other side she turned to the group and ordered the sober team to escort the wasted ones to their quarters.

"Sleep it off and then we'll debrief at 1100 hours tomorrow. I don't care how bad you feel – bring a bucket if need be – I don't care but be there. Dismissed!" She barked getting annoyed at the personnel beginning to crowd them again.

"Yes ma'am." Sheppard and Ford mumbled dragging their feet to the exits followed by an ashamed looking Teyla and a muddy, gasping McKay. Smith's team walked behind trying to keep straight faces until they were out of Weir's view.

Shooting a cross look at everyone else they began to work again and held their breath until she was safely in her office.

Ford groaned as another wave of sickness crept up in his throat but he forced it back down. John made a grunting sound into the table not bothering to acknowledge a ruffled looking Teyla when she entered the briefing room and Rodney stared into the blue bucket sitting on his lap and then glanced impatiently at his watch.

"Elizabeth's late." He muttered his voice husky before complaining. "My throat hurts."

"Must have been all that singing." Ford reminded him and the scientist looked away embarrassed.

"I don't sing." He said defensively.

"That was obvious. You dance pretty bad too." John said lifting his head to join in the conversation but immediately regretted it as the thumping pain in his skull returned.

"Oh yes let's all mock the man who is quietly dying here!" McKay cried pursing his lips feeling sick.

"Quietly? I wish!" John muttered ignoring his collegue's scowl as Weir walked into the room and he sat up straight.

Sitting down she placed the palm top computer gently on the table and clasped her hands on the black table. Glancing around the oddly shaped table she was met by four ill and mortified expressions.

John watched Elizabeth's face carefully trying to sense her mood but was soon answered by the glare she gave him. _Yep, still pissed. I'm a dead man. I wonder if she's forgiven me for our little chat last night _He wondered silently hoping she had cringing at his drunken state. He could still only remember a few of the things he told her at 2 in the morning.

Elizabeth examined the delicate looking Major for a few minutes debating whether his little visit last night had been just a drunken mistake or something more. Either way, he and his team were still going to pay for their juvenile actions the day before.

**A/N: Just to clear up a few things, when McKay dials the gate he puts in 8 symbols instead of the standard 7 (presuming it's the same as meant to be for our galaxy to go to planet to planet.) It took them 8 symbols to get from Milkyway galaxy to the Pegasus galaxy, like a dialing code. So when Rodney gets drunk he punches in 8 symbols so John jokes that they are trying to get to another galaxy! There, did I explain that okay coz I know some people were confused. If not, just enjoy the drunkenness and hangover quips!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second chapter, hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

John Sheppard hovered outside Dr Weir's office as she worked on some reports. Whether she knew he was there or not he couldn't tell, the expedition leader had not looked up for almost 30 minutes straight.

The debriefing had gone surprisingly quickly and smoothly, after all four of his team had stuttered their apologies of course. However, Sheppard had seen the way Weir had looked at him throughout the session and he had a feeling it had something to do with their conversation the night before, or in the early hours of the morning. Throughout the debriefing the memories had come flooding back and John felt like cringing at his awful state.

FLASHBACK

"Whoops!" John muttered as he crashed into a wall that had appeared from nowhere. Leaning against his new best friend he took a deep breath as he tried to focus on his present task.

He had just been released from the infirmary and seen Rodney back to his room, or more like carried him. He had told the men escorting him that he'd be fine and dismissed them. As soon as they had left John chuckled amazed at how he still had power over these men even when he was still tipsy. If Elizabeth found out she'd be pissed. _Ah! Elizabeth, now there's an idea! _He thought amusedly.

So he had set off to find his boss with no idea of what he was doing. After half an hour of exploring her usual haunts John cursed as he realized it was 2 am. Elizabeth would be in bed if not in her office. So that's where he had gone and banged on the Ancient door hoping for an answer. And boy did he get one!

The door slid open to reveal a very disheveled, but still very sexy, looking Elizabeth Weir glaring at John in shock and disgust. "John? What the hell!"

"Morning Liz!" John sang scanning over her body, which was only covered by a small pair of shorts and a strappy t-shirt.

"It's…it's like 4 in the morning!"

"2 actually but who's checking?"

Shaking her head in disbelief Elizabeth left the door and climbed back into bed muttering, "…2 in the morning…insane…immature dope of a man!"

Turning her back to him she pulled the covers up around her body hoping the Major would get the point. When she heard footsteps in the room it was obvious he hadn't. Growling Elizabeth sat up and stared at him angrily.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, well, you know I was bored so I thought that maybe we could talk or something." John slurred while wandering around her room.

Elizabeth closed her eyes trying to understand the man's logic of wanting to talk to her at this time of the morning. "Talk? But John, you're still drunk! Get some sleep, that's an order!"

Then suddenly he looked at her with a michevious expression, "You know you're very cute when you're angry Ms Weir-"

"DR Weir-"

"-and especially when sitting in bed half naked." He grinned clearly enjoying their playful banter.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to respond but stopped realizing what he had just said. Here she was arguing with a man she thought was very handsome, sexy and charming whilst in bed half dressed. A small smirk appeared on her lips.

"Why thank you MAJOR, but I'm still mad at you so-"

"But you haven't called any guards or even tried to throw me out yourself so…I'm guessing you don't mind me being here!" He replied smugly as he sat down on her stool, forgetting it had no back and slid of it.

Elizabeth burst out laughing as she heard an, "Ouch!" and clambered out of bed to help him up. Walking over to him she offered a hand, which John reluctantly took. Pulling the tipsy officer up into a standing position she ran a hand over his back.

"Hurt anything?"

"Other than my pride you mean?" John asked embarrassedly and shook his head. "Not really, give me till tomorrow though, most of is pretty numb!"

Elizabeth giggled as she guided him to her bed. "Well that's what you get for getting drunk of world!" She scolded as they sat down beside each other. Watching him run a hand through his hair she bit her lip. "So, why are you really here, John?"

He shrugged and Elizabeth noticed his vacant expression. He was still definitely drunk she concluded and let a small sigh escape, feeling a little disappointed. "Okay, let's get you back to bed."

As John began to lie back Elizabeth grabbed his hand and pulled him into a sitting position again. "Oh no your own bed! Let me get something decent on first."

Quickly pulling a large sweatshirt on along with black jogging bottoms and trainers Elizabeth turned round to see her chief military officer lying on her bed. Sighing she went back to him and tried to grab his hand. In the process of leaning over him to reach it John shifted his foot accidently tripping her up causing her to fall on top of him. Letting out a small gasp of surprise the dozing man beneath her woke.

Staring into her eyes he whispered, "Oh, hello."

They were so close Elizabeth was just inches from John's mouth and she could feel his hot breath. Her hands were placed flat on his chest and she could feel his rapid heartbeat. "Hi" She replied quietly, momentarily forgetting the previous plan of action. Noticing the compromising position she began to climb off John until he reached out to touch her cheek.

"You're beautiful, do you know that?" He asked gazing intently at her.

Elizabeth felt her heart soar but it immediately fell remembering John's drunken state. Sighing she pulled away grabbing his hand in the process. "Yeah, of course I am. Let's get you back."

The pilot sluggishly stood up almost falling back down until Elizabeth put an arm around his waist. As they silently made their way through the deserted hallways Elizabeth couldn't help but notice how tightly John had his arm around her shoulder. But when she glanced at him he had his head down reminding her he wasn't quite himself.

Once at his room Elizabeth waved her hand across the light blue panel and watched the door move aside revealing John's room. Steering him to his bed she let him lie down as he muttered, "Liz…tasted like water…sorry…mmmm beautiful…"

Watching him doze off Elizabeth tried to ignore his sleepy ramblings and let out a sigh when John began softly snoring. Wrapping her arms around her Elizabeth left him and went back to her own room.

END OF FLASHBACK

"John?"

Elizabeth's voice called John back from his musings and he looked up to see her standing in the doorway. "Oh, hi!"

"Hi, is there something you wanted?" She asked and John felt guilty as she tried to suppress a yawn.

Shaking his head he said, "Uh, no. Nothing…well" He began feeling an apology was due to her.

Stepping out of her office Elizabeth gestured to the balcony door. "Want to talk outside?"

John nodded and followed her out ignoring the amused stares from other personnel. The whole team had been taking jibes from everyone who had witnessed their homecoming yesterday but all knew it was totally deserved.

Once outside John immediately felt his sore head begin to subside and leaned on the railing. Elizabeth crossed her arms and looked out over the ocean. "So…?"

"Uh…okay…I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday-"

"You already did." Elizabeth reminded him keeping her eyes on the view. "Several times today."

John nodded watching her. "Yeah, but I mean for…eh our little conversation…well this morning really."

Finally Elizabeth turned her attention to him and raised her eyebrows.

"I came to you last night because I wanted company." John explained becoming more agitated at his companion's passive face. "I just wanted to talk and you were the first person that popped into my head." _You're always the first person _he wanted to add but didn't. "And I remember most of what I said and I wanted you to know that I meant it. All of it."

Elizabeth frowned. "Thank you for apologizing but John about what you said-"

"I really did mean it." He repeated staring firmly at her. A range of emotions crossed her pale face and he held his breath.

Finally she smiled and took a step closer to him. "Well that's okay then, since you've seen me half naked."

John grinned and took a step closer creating a very small gap between them. "Yes I have Dr Weir and might I say nice trick of falling on top of me-"

"You tripped me!" Elizabeth said defensively as she hit his arm.

"-taking advantage of a drunk man…"

"Don't push it John!" She warned half serious and he held up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry." As they stared at each other once again they felt drawn together and just as John reached for her hand the balcony door flew open.

"Oh God!"

And Elizabeth and John watched as Rodney McKay raced over to the railing and leaned over. He was followed by Dr Zelenka who was carrying a blue bucket. "Here it is Rodney! Some marine thought it would be funny to hide it…"

As retching sounds emerged from the railing Elizabeth and John groaned at both the disgusting sounds of McKay throwing up and their interrupted moment.

Gesturing to the door John whispered, "Shall we…"

"Oh yes." Elizabeth agreed and they left the balcony to the sound of Rodney crying, "It tasted like god damn water!"

**A/N: Not the best but as always reviews would be appreciated.**


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